Category: Let's talk
This topic could go into the "elder folks" board as a complaint, "writers' block" as an essay, or here in "let's talk". I have chosen to put it here to solicit your response to the question: "what do you think of your upcoming death?"
In my case, the term upcoming is growing in importance. I turn 62 years old tomorrow, and birthdays--once a day of joy, are now a reminder of the losing battle we all wage against nature's solution to over population.
None of us is immortal. Some lessen their fears by believing in the immortality of the soul. That's fine, and possibly true, but it's not my way, yet.
Others face the problem by denying it. That's easy for a young person to do, because when you are 20 62 seems like an eternity; but, believe me, it isn't. It's merely a tick of the clock.
However, I think youthful denial in a young person might be a good defense mechanism. If young people spend their days looking at their upcoming demise, then they will have no future but the grave--the universal future, that leads no where.
Some of us face our mortality by trying to make a mark in the time slot in which we live. Could we but write the great novel, become an acclaimed performer, or, think the great thought that will solve the world's major problems. But, even Shelley or Shakespeare had fears of their own mortality. It's a laudible solution, but a solution that is granted to a very few people. And, as Thomas Grey says in his poem
Ellogy Written in a Country Church-yard"
"The paths of glory lead but to the grave."
Trying to leave a mark on the history of mankind is a solution that can lead to a warped sense of accomplishment. For example, it is said that Lee Harvy Oswald shot President Kennedy because he, Oswald, wanted to go down in history as a known figure. Well, he will be remembered, but, what is the cost of his fame?
Others procrastinate when it comes to their upcoming death. They get so wrapped up in the problems of the day that they give their future no thought at all. Sometimes I think this might be nature's way. "Don't worry about it because you can't do anything about it anyway." But, if you give no thought to your own existence, someday you may find yourself up the creek without a paddle. Some day you may wake up to find you are in the middle of a dream that is quickly turning into a nightmare.
I think T. S. Elliot expressed it best in his poem
The love song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
when he said, "Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald]
brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet--and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid."
But, soon, this morbid mood of mine will pass, because you can't maintain this mood for long without going insane. So, while the mood is on me, I ask you the question:
"What do you think of your upcoming death?" or do you think of it?
Bob
an interesting question Well, being nineteen years old, I certainly hope death doesn't come to me soon, but I'm not going to say I'll live to the ripe old age of whatever, because anything can happen. I know it's going to happen eventually, so for me, there's no point in dwelling on the inevitable. I'll go when I need to go.
Well being 23 years old concerning myself with dying is the last thing on my mind or do I like to think about it. That's why I spend each day as if it were my last because like Nymphadora said anything can happen, and when it happens I'll accept it and cross over.
...seems as though this is a cyber-space Emo club..
Thunderous crashes of lightening bolts strike forth on this dark and rainy day as bats soar through the joint. Ahh here it comes now, a birthday cake with a tombstone drenched in webs where spiders reside with the wording etched in the stone, for our dear departed Bob
*I meant to say, for our soon to depart Bob...
I try not to think about dying except to occasionally say that I hope I die quickly without suffering. The ideal death would be in my sleep. I hate the thought of a slow painful death from cancer or other disease or after being in a car accident or some other type of injury that causes me to suffer for a long time.
To the organized mind, death is just another adventure. Albus Dumbeldore
I don't think about it much, but then again, even at 42 I don't worry about it a lot, because worrying and getting anxious and all the icky sad moroseness I'm supposed to be wallowing in sure as shootin' will not stop it. All of us eventually will die and I just hope I die because my body's done with me and not because of being murdered or such, that's all I ask. Oh, and for a nice fictional read about death, as in the incarnation of Death, read "On a Pale Horse" by Piers Anthony. There's a book that handled death in a non-fearful and non-anxious way.
I'm not scared of death, course, I'd rather not die, but it will happen at some point and there's no way aoround it. So might as well get use to it.
Well, nobody knows when they are going to die. Because I don't know when I'm going to die, I can't prepare for death. However, if I was in a situation in which I knew that my death was highly probable, and I may not be able to alter the direction of the situation, I'd probably just wait, because I couldn't really do anything else. I believe that when the end comes for me, it'll be just that, an end. Therefore there's nothing to prepare for. However, even if people believe there is some afterlife, they still cannot prepare for it, because they can't be sure that even if they are correct, the afterlife is going to be just as they imagined it.
If I did die, I have preferances about what happens with regards my property and the people I leave behind, but since once I'm dead I won't have a clue whether things go as I want them to for those I leave behind, I can't be bothered giving the matter serious contemplation.
One final thought though, if there is a heaven or a hell, or just some other place where all the dead have gone, I'd love to be there. I'd love to be able to speak to people who died in the world wars, people who were perged by monarchs in England, the romans, the normans and all the different people who have existed throughout history. It'd be interesting to find out how a society consisting of all the dead from all generations functions, who supports who from different eras, who is in conflict with who etc. If such a world existed, it'd be an amazing and interesting world to explore.
I wouldn't know what to think about my impending death either, unless I knew it was on the cards sooner rather than later. Senior's right, you can die at any time in your life, sometimes without any warning wat so ever, for example, I might die in a road accident when I'm travelling too and from RNC in Hereford later this year and mum picks me up because I haven't quite got the hang of the hereford to Reading train shortly after I started there. Some of you on The Zone may remember a girl, Suzannah, who spent a year with us in the sixth form at New College Worcester, having quit West Of England school in South-west England back in July 2000 and she came to Worcester to do her A-levels. Anyway, she was terminally ill, in fact she spent quite a few weeks in hospital till just after the Easter holidays in 2001 but she was just a lovely, shiny, happy person to be with a lot of the time, hardly anything got her down, so when I got a phone call at home from Kay, (Narcissa Malfoy on here) on February 27 2005 and learned she'd died from multiple organ failure, aged just 21 years, same age as me at the time, I was absolutely gobsmacked, though I know it could've happened any time. It really freaked me out, but only for about five minutes which I spent just sat in the office where I'd taken the call and just howled in to my hands before racing downstairs, necking an alcopop and going in the living room to tell mum the news. She just said it isn't really worth crying over it. It's happened now. Easy for her to say of course, Suzannah hadn't really been mum's friend. She was mine and Kay's friend from sixth form at New College Worcs. I couldn't even get to the funeral because of our useless rail network and also mum being at work that day. It just puts things in perspective though. It might've been Kay, might've been Erica or any of my old friends from Worcester or Loughborough. It might've been me, so, Iam a bit more scared of dying than I was in early 2005. I was scared my new cousin Robbie was going to die when his mum had the flu when she was pregnant, he wasn't growing properly, then he had this irregular heartbeat. His heart also stopped while he was still inside, so he was rushed in to the world at 3.35 AM on March 30 this year, weighing just 4 lbs 7 Oz. He took longer than is brother to come round when he had to be resussitated but spent just 24 hours in an oxygen tent in SCbu before he was moved in to a crib.
I know death's on the cards for me at some point though, so ideally, I'd go in my late 90's early 100's, lollol.
Jen.
Well, This last year has been spent learning all about a rare syndrome I've apparently always suffered with. Some of that learning has been about how critical it can be, even for someone considered low risk like myself. However, I had a conversation about a month ago with the secretary of our charity about our oldest sufferer, who will be 40 next year. I was told how wonderful that would be, as they don't know if anyone has ever reached that age having the syndrome before.
I'm 34 this year, and it's made me think about how little or much there may be of life. I've never been scared of death, yet I feel like I'm not at all ready, yet I can't hide from the fact that even as a young person without any of the other maybes we all talk of, that there may not be many more years.
I'm not sure that really gives much of a conclusion, I'm not sure I have one, just to say that the thought of death has become much more in the last month, and I wish it hadn't.
Well no matter what one believes it is a fact that DEATH IS CERTAIN in some way, shape or form. Now what is beyond death is where the debate comes in, or at least as i see it. Some say it is HEAVEN. Some say it is PERGATORY. Some say a lake of fire. Who really knows. I can share a story with you that my sum up my belief. As my father lay dying in Erlinger Hospital and we the family had decided to turn off the machine that was keeping him living. The question was asked will he feel anything? Will he convulse and or have massive tremmors? One would think that when someones air was turned off that they might even gasp. However the doxctor that was taking care of him said none of these will happenhe will slowly just fade off into what ever lies beyond for him. Howevre musch to our surprise something did happen. As the resparator was turned off he (my father) opened his eyes and the biggest smile on his face replaced the some what sullen expression that was on his face, And the nurse proclaimed "I BELIEVE HE IS SEEEING THINGS HE HAS NEVER SEEN". He then closed his eyes and went off to sleep. Another happening just a few months ago was when a dear friend of mine passed from this life from cancer. He sat up in the bed and said "MY GOD MY GOD"!!! Which makes me believe he found the afterlife that he was looking for, and had hope in.
With all due respect I didn't share these two inncodents to stir up contraversy or to even hurt anyones feelings. I did it in the hopes that someone might read it and see that possible there is something beyond this life. It was written in hopes that when someone comes to that final breath of life that they might find some hope in the afterlife, and a peaceful crossing to the new world.
gramps
The actual process of dying scares me, but being dead does not. I hope I die in my sleep or at least I hope it's really quick if I'm awake.
What do I think of my impending death? Wow, what a profound question!
Well, I guess that with me it's just as it is with all other mysteries: my impending death is something I rarely think about, but in those moments when I do find myself thinking about it, I really can't tear away from its mysteriousness. And there are many things that happen nowadays which remind us of death. This is why I don't watch television anymore.
You see, Bob, this is why I don't like thinking about death, it's too personal and depressing and troubling. Not desiring to leave behind the ones I love is really the only thing that would make me want to stay here. When I die, all I want is to feel secure that my accomplishments were all the right ones, were all the best possible outcomes of the choices I made. I'd like to feel secure and assured that I lived the best possible life. My mom once told me about my great grandmother who lived to her late 90's, In the last years, when she was in pain, she would go out into her backyard and ask god to take her because she was no longer any earthly good. That's the attitude I want to have when I die, just sensing that my work here on earth is done, now it's time for me to go. No regrets, no looking back...
But at times I'm fearful of what will await me after that last breath, and other times when I fantasize about entering death's door I guess I just see myself leaving my soul(if there is such a thing) in the hands of whatever higher power there is out there (if there is indeed a god or divine being). I sometimes think that if god does exist, then nothing will die, nothing has an ultimate end because there are just too many beautiful things in this world. It doesn't seem right that beautiful things; flowers, babies, animals, just everything that was supposedly created should die. A divine being must've had another purpose for these things. Death just seems so out of place sometimes when you hear about life or beauty coming to an end. I think that if a loving god does exist, then it must be as the bible says; all things will be restored. But of course that's if a loving and caring god does exist. I know the bible says that God is love. Well, then if he is love, and if love can be shown by all of us, even if shown in a distorted way, then he put it in us. And nobody will argue that love is not beautiful. But love dies inside of us when we die. So maybe he will restore everything at some time in the future, at the resurrection or something. Who knows?
When I was a kid I remember Sometimes wishing that we could choose when to go, that way we could choose to step out of this world holding hands with the ones we love. I don't know, I guess I just thought that being accompanied by family during such a trip would make it easier. But every single person would have to do it willingly. I know this sounds stupid, but I've actually thought about this now as an adult when the thought of death becomes too much to bear. Don't you think it would be easier for an individual to confront the mystery accompanied by others, to step into the void, if it turns out that a void is what death is, or to step into an actual afterlife, whether heaven/hell/purgatory, accompanied by those you'd trusted throughout your earthly life? For me it would be. Sounds childish an maybe even selfish I know, but death can be frightening at times and we all need some consolation. lol
Again this is another topic which makes the beliefs of christianity so desirable to me. I mean, I have no problem with living a simple life, chasing after only those things that are realistic to me and that I consider worthwhile; family, a good job, and just enjoying life as much as possible. Why chase after fame, riches, or power if in the end we're not taking anything with us? Living life is made so much easier if you look at it that way. Well, maybe...
Sometimes I think that death was the motivation for all religions of this world. I think the book of wisdom says that the origin of idolatry can be traced to parents mourning the loss of their departed children. But who knows?
It would be wrong to think about these things all the time though. We gotta live life too! I wish it was easy, I wish it could be like Epicurus said: "Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not." There is truth to this statement but it's not very comforting.
Okay, now that I'm depressed I guess I'll stop here. lol
Yes, that is an interesting question. I try not to think about myself personally dying, but sometimes I do think about it like if we are riding in a vehicle, or if I hear a cars screeching or speeding or a gunshot when I'm at home, especially because you hear about this stuff all the time on the news: someone getting shot for supposedly being "at the wrong place at the wrong time", or involved in a crash. I think "man, that could be anyone including me or someone close to me." But I don't totally worry about it to where I won't leave home or anything like that, because I know I wouldn't have to be in an accident; I can just as easily die from a brain annurism, heart attack, or anything else that could happen. So, I don't think I'm much worried about the dying part, just as long as I get taken care of what/who my things (mainly my money/valuables) will go to. And of course, I'd hopefully rather not die painfully, but if it's quick (as in instantly hopefully), or slow (as in week/months/years) I think both have their advantages so yeah. I'm actually mostly worried about what will happen, after, I die. Will I go to Heaven, Hell, or Pergatory, and literally how do souls get there.? I know that seems weird to be thinking about since I won't physically be alive, but yeah, sometimes I think it'd be interesting to interview someone who is dead to ask what it felt like right when they die, just so I know what to expect.
Well, I know that when I was 20, death seemed like it would happen to someone else and not me.
When I was 30, I was busy with little kids and being a wife. When I was 40, I was trying to just get through the hard times I was facing, and death seemed closer but not inevitable. Now, it seems a lot closer. I see people around me dying at a faster rate, in fact, more than ever before. I realize I have to make the most out of every day, live to the fullest, and cherish my friends and family.
I honestly don't care if I die. I don't know why though. I might as well be dead anyway.
Lol. I didn't want it to sound like that. I really don't care about death because I know it will happen and so am prepared. I will write before I die if I can though. Death is supposed to be peaceful. I think that you should make the best of the lives you all have. But don't try and live to fast as they say.
There are so many theories on this, it's unbelieveable. For me, death is not so much an end, but an interlude to something far better than we have right now. A rest period. After all won't we all need a rest after this lot? *grins* A ressurection yes, but not to heaven, hell, or any such thing. To an earthly paradice, to an earth that has been restored to the way things should be. Eutopianist? Not at all, read the bible, smile.
It's strange, I'm only eighteen years old, and yet I think about death and dying as it relates specifically to me probably more than most people I know. It's always been that way. When I was a little kid, I'd think about it at night when I was trying to go to sleep, imagining what forever was like and if I would go to heaven like my mom and the preacher always said I would. I used to list it as one of my greatest fears when asked what they were, but I think I've come to accept and be comfortable with it a bit more than I used to. I dont pretend to have the slightest clue what awaits us after death, if anything even does, and that aspect of things doesn't bother me much. It's actually dying, no longer being a part of this world. That's what bothers me. But I'd never want to be immortal, the way so many people seem to wish to be lately. I think it'd be horrible.
Basically, even though I think about and dwell on it more than is probably good for me, I have come to no definite conclusions about it. I agree with Senior, though, in that I think it would be awesome to talk to those who've lived before us and are remembered in history, wherever they might be now.
I wasn't going to post anything on this topic, because my beliefs and interests are somewhat unconventional, and I don't want to start a long argument here that I just don't have time for. However, some of the poignant comments that have been expressed make me want to say something.
I have spent most of my adult life trying to understand the nature of mind, soul, spirit, consciousness--what it is, whether it is only brain activity or something more, and whether there is anything to us that survives the death of the body.
Now, I have not encountered any evidence bearing on the existence of a personal God, such as the God of the Bible. I do not accept the dogmas of any religion, and I do not believe in the Bible or any other alleged holy scriptures as containing revealed truths which must not be questioned. As Arthur Schopenhauer said, "Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training, for it trains people as to how they shall think."
However, through years of study, psychic development, meditation and various other practices that I won't go into here, I have had experiences, as well as learning about the experiences of others, that have convinced me that there are vast realms beyond the material world. I believe that mind is a real force in the universe, that it is something more than the body, and that it survives physical death. I believe that I existed before my present life, and I believe that I will continue to exist, in some manner, after I die.
Now, I want to make it clear that I don't expect anyone to believe anything because I say so or to accept the validity of any experiences that I may claim to have had. I'm not interested in persuading anyone of anything or becoming anyone's guru. The only point I want to make is that there are other choices besides accepting religious dogmas on faith or being left with nothing. There is real empirical evidence bearing on these questions. Intelligent people can and do disagree as to what the empirical data actually prove, and we should always approach these issues with great humility. I just want to say to anyone who is perplexed about these things that if you have reached the point where you can no longer believe in the religious doctrines that you were taught as a child, you are not condemned to accepting the idea of a universe of meaningless noise. There are other ways.
ok, good but
we all are oing to die, we cant stop it, we cant prolong it, we all have a time to die, and what's the point in living your life filled with fear that is going to happen, there is no point, and its a waste of air, life, and time to worry about the inevetable
i dont fear my death, it will come one day, and i'll say, "i lived a good life, and now its my time to come home, ok... thanx for giving me this great life, i enjoyed it, and i think i'll enjoy what's after much more.."